WENEEDLIGHT
Happynews.com :)
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LOL! Didn't know that stressed is desserts spelled backwards!
(NSFW) Joke thread, come and post your jokes here
- Thread starter dehawk
- Start date
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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DanC
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A couple decides to go golfing to the best golf course in their state.
While playing, the husband tells his wife to be very careful, as there were many houses along the golf course, but the wife swings her club and breaks one of the windows of the biggest house on the course. The husband and wife decide to go and apologize to the owner of the house. When they reach the house they find a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of pieces.
They then find an old man sitting in a rocking chair in the corner.
"I am a genie and I would like to thank you for letting me free from this bottle," the old man says, "and I would like to grant you two wishes, but the third wish is mine."
The husband thinks about it for a moment and says, "I want a private aircraft for myself." The wife says, "I would like a house in every single country in the world."
The genie agrees and says, "For the past 200 years I have not had sex and I would like to have sex with your wife."
The husband agrees and the genie takes the woman upstairs and begins having sex with her.
Once they are done, he rolls over and asks the woman, "How old is your husband?"
"47," she replies.
"Wow," the man says, shaking his head, "And he still believes in genies?
While playing, the husband tells his wife to be very careful, as there were many houses along the golf course, but the wife swings her club and breaks one of the windows of the biggest house on the course. The husband and wife decide to go and apologize to the owner of the house. When they reach the house they find a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of pieces.
They then find an old man sitting in a rocking chair in the corner.
"I am a genie and I would like to thank you for letting me free from this bottle," the old man says, "and I would like to grant you two wishes, but the third wish is mine."
The husband thinks about it for a moment and says, "I want a private aircraft for myself." The wife says, "I would like a house in every single country in the world."
The genie agrees and says, "For the past 200 years I have not had sex and I would like to have sex with your wife."
The husband agrees and the genie takes the woman upstairs and begins having sex with her.
Once they are done, he rolls over and asks the woman, "How old is your husband?"
"47," she replies.
"Wow," the man says, shaking his head, "And he still believes in genies?
DanC
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Dear Abbey:
I know a couple of women who recently bought a house. One is a middle-aged auto mechanic, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their house. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
I know a couple of women who recently bought a house. One is a middle-aged auto mechanic, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their house. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
callmeCrazyButt
Ms. Smartie Pants
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WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM?????
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'
'It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'????? ?'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed . 'I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.'
'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust.'
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'
'It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'????? ?'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed . 'I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.'
'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust.'
K Ma
♪♫♪♫♪♫♪&
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Someone out there
is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law)
is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law)
DanC
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An Elderly Wedding
An elderly couple had been dating each other for 30 years and, at the urging of their friends and family, the finally decided it was time to get married. But first, they agreed they should work out the details of how their marriage was going to be, as to avoid any let downs or misunderstandings.
So the older couple went out to a nice dinner and had a long conversation about how their marriage is going to work. They discussed living arrangements, finances and other important stuff. Finally, the older gentleman decided it was time to bring up the subject of their physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly yet intrigued.
“Well,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully, “I’d have to say… I would like it infrequently.”
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked… “Is that one word or two?”
An elderly couple had been dating each other for 30 years and, at the urging of their friends and family, the finally decided it was time to get married. But first, they agreed they should work out the details of how their marriage was going to be, as to avoid any let downs or misunderstandings.
So the older couple went out to a nice dinner and had a long conversation about how their marriage is going to work. They discussed living arrangements, finances and other important stuff. Finally, the older gentleman decided it was time to bring up the subject of their physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly yet intrigued.
“Well,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully, “I’d have to say… I would like it infrequently.”
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked… “Is that one word or two?”
K Ma
♪♫♪♫♪♫♪&
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MY LIVING WILL
Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.
She's such a hag......
Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.
She's such a hag......
DanC
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A Hillbilly went hunting one day in Georgia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies.
The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license; the hillbilly pulled out a valid Georgia hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, 'This duck ain't from Georgia. This is a Tennessee duck. You got a Tennessee huntin' license, boy?'
The hillbilly reached in to his walle t and produced a Tennessee hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt,and said 'This ain't no Tennessee duck. This duck's From Mississippi.
You got a Mississippi license?'
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said,
'This ain't no Mississippi duck. This here duck's from South Carolina .. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?'
Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly,
'Boy, just where the hell are you from?'
The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, and said, 'You tell me. You're the expert.'
The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license; the hillbilly pulled out a valid Georgia hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, 'This duck ain't from Georgia. This is a Tennessee duck. You got a Tennessee huntin' license, boy?'
The hillbilly reached in to his walle t and produced a Tennessee hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt,and said 'This ain't no Tennessee duck. This duck's From Mississippi.
You got a Mississippi license?'
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said,
'This ain't no Mississippi duck. This here duck's from South Carolina .. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?'
Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly,
'Boy, just where the hell are you from?'
The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, and said, 'You tell me. You're the expert.'
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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The Lawyer Way
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's
most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his
lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though
your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to
charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the
United Way?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you
that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical
bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh..... no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and
confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children.'
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sist er's husband died in a
dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children,
one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an
array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry, I had no
idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So..... if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you
think I'd give any to you?'
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's
most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his
lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though
your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to
charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the
United Way?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you
that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical
bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh..... no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and
confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children.'
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sist er's husband died in a
dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children,
one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an
array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry, I had no
idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So..... if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you
think I'd give any to you?'
K Ma
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'Wish I could think so quickly.'
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?'
He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?'
He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'
JerryP
Lets' go Yankees!
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HOW TO BAKE A CAKE WITH A BABY IN THE HOUSE
Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
Remove blocks and toy autos from table.
Grease pan, crack nuts.
Measure two cups flour;
Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
Remeasure flour.
Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
Get another bowl.
Answer doorbell.
Return to kitchen.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Wash baby.
Answer phone.
Return.
Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan.
Look for baby.
Grease another pan.
Answer telephone.
Return to kitchen and find baby.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it.
Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.
Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes.
Call baker.
Lie down.
For some reason this made me think of many of my Spoofee friends. :convinced:
Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
Remove blocks and toy autos from table.
Grease pan, crack nuts.
Measure two cups flour;
Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
Remeasure flour.
Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
Get another bowl.
Answer doorbell.
Return to kitchen.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Wash baby.
Answer phone.
Return.
Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan.
Look for baby.
Grease another pan.
Answer telephone.
Return to kitchen and find baby.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it.
Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.
Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes.
Call baker.
Lie down.
For some reason this made me think of many of my Spoofee friends. :convinced:
K Ma
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JerryP
Lets' go Yankees!
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Nice work if you can get it.
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me
very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year
and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan
that most people can only dream about.
Despite this, I plan to take the next 12-18 months off, to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In
addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks
associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be
back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember
that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
Every Senator or Congressman running for President.
Try that at your job and see how it works out.
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me
very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year
and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan
that most people can only dream about.
Despite this, I plan to take the next 12-18 months off, to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In
addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks
associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be
back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember
that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
Every Senator or Congressman running for President.
Try that at your job and see how it works out.
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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The Amish Elevator
THE AMISH ELEVATOR....
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is".
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son .....
"Go get your mother."
THE AMISH ELEVATOR....
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is".
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son .....
"Go get your mother."
DanC
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A farmer got in his pickup truck and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 yrs old opened the door.
"Is yer Dad home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."
"Well," said the farmer, "is yer Mom here?"
"No sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."
"Is yer Dad home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."
"Well," said the farmer, "is yer Mom here?"
"No sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND....
These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on ja n. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the ****s.
12. Please excuse tommy for being ab sent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping becau se i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. G lo ria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Mary ann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fev e r. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on ja n. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the ****s.
12. Please excuse tommy for being ab sent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping becau se i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. G lo ria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Mary ann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fev e r. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
diGriz
Fargin Mayans.
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- Sep 10, 2004
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Fore!
A man and wife were playing in their club's annual "Guys and Dolls" tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife had insisted.
On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted time on the ladies tee, he decided to go ahead and hit his drive from the mens. Unfortunately, he misjudged his shot and his ball hit his wife in the back of the head, killing her instantly.
At the hospital the doctor came to talk to the husband. "Mr. Davies, we found a golf ball lodged 3 inches into your wife's brain, which was the the cause of death. But, we have found something else that really puzzles us." "What is it?" asked Mr. Davies. "Well," said the doctor, "we also found a golf ball lodged 6 inches into her anal cavity."
The husband dismissed the doctor with a wave of his hand "Oh, that was just my Mulligan!"
A man and wife were playing in their club's annual "Guys and Dolls" tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife had insisted.
On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted time on the ladies tee, he decided to go ahead and hit his drive from the mens. Unfortunately, he misjudged his shot and his ball hit his wife in the back of the head, killing her instantly.
At the hospital the doctor came to talk to the husband. "Mr. Davies, we found a golf ball lodged 3 inches into your wife's brain, which was the the cause of death. But, we have found something else that really puzzles us." "What is it?" asked Mr. Davies. "Well," said the doctor, "we also found a golf ball lodged 6 inches into her anal cavity."
The husband dismissed the doctor with a wave of his hand "Oh, that was just my Mulligan!"