(NSFW) Joke thread, come and post your jokes here
- Thread starter dehawk
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precocious
Goody 2 Shoes Goddess TY
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A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."
Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00.' "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... which now had a button sewn on the end.
I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."
Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00.' "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... which now had a button sewn on the end.
precocious
Goody 2 Shoes Goddess TY
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DanC
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Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.
Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.
They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."
Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."
Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.
They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."
Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."
DanC
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John the farmer was in the egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
precocious
Goody 2 Shoes Goddess TY
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Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The i-Tit will cost €499 or €599 depending on cup size. This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
:hmmmm2: might be a re-post
:hmmmm2: might be a re-post
SeptemberBlue
Lovin' Life
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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins......
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins......
SeptemberBlue
Lovin' Life
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Why Parents Drink
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
> was
> nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
> propped
> up prominently onthe pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst
> premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
> letter.
> Dear Dad:
> It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
> with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
> you.
> I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I
> knew
> you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos,
> tight
> motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
> it's
> not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be
> very
> happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
> the
> whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
> opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
> We'll
> be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that
> live
> nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that
> science
> will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it
> .Don't
> worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
> sure
> that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
> grandchildren.
> Love, Your Son John
> P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.
>
> I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are
> worse
> things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
> I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
> was
> nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
> propped
> up prominently onthe pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst
> premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
> letter.
> Dear Dad:
> It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
> with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
> you.
> I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I
> knew
> you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos,
> tight
> motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
> it's
> not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be
> very
> happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
> the
> whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
> opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
> We'll
> be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that
> live
> nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that
> science
> will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it
> .Don't
> worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
> sure
> that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
> grandchildren.
> Love, Your Son John
> P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.
>
> I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are
> worse
> things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
> I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have
e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to
help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or
60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have
e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to
help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or
60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
JerryP
Lets' go Yankees!
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Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too:
"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him.
"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?"
"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him.
"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?"
reddkittee
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Very cute.
Here's one...see if anyone can get it.
How does a chick with no arms and legs get across a freeway?
Hint?
Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way"...as in freeway
Got it? Scroll down for the answer.
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There IS no "F" in "way". LOL
Say it outloud.
Here's one...see if anyone can get it.
How does a chick with no arms and legs get across a freeway?
Hint?
Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way"...as in freeway
Got it? Scroll down for the answer.
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There IS no "F" in "way". LOL
Say it outloud.
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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Taste Test gone Wrong
A researcher was doing an experiment on children's taste-buds. He had blindfolded a second grade class, and given them all one Life-Saver candy. Then he told them to taste it, and tell him what kind of candy it was.
They all tried, and could not figure it out, so he gave them a hint. "Its something that your parents might call each other sometimes."
Then a little girl spit hers out and cried, "Everyone, spit them out, they're a#@holes!!"
A researcher was doing an experiment on children's taste-buds. He had blindfolded a second grade class, and given them all one Life-Saver candy. Then he told them to taste it, and tell him what kind of candy it was.
They all tried, and could not figure it out, so he gave them a hint. "Its something that your parents might call each other sometimes."
Then a little girl spit hers out and cried, "Everyone, spit them out, they're a#@holes!!"
dbee
L10 Deal Goddess
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Why am I married? - (sorry to bash the men)
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death '
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death '
SeptemberBlue
Lovin' Life
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Godfather
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed;
'Lissin a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated 38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me.'
The grandson smiles weakly and replies; 'But grandpa, I really doan a lika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch instead?'
Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in his voice; 'Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybea a couple of bambinos.'
After a slight pause to catch his breath he continues; 'Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then ... pointa to you watch and say 'Times up'?
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed;
'Lissin a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated 38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me.'
The grandson smiles weakly and replies; 'But grandpa, I really doan a lika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch instead?'
Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in his voice; 'Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybea a couple of bambinos.'
After a slight pause to catch his breath he continues; 'Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then ... pointa to you watch and say 'Times up'?
illumin8ted
Cubs Win Cubs Win!!!!
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CHRISTMAS WISH
To All My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
To All My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
spazntwitch
It's like déj- vu again
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Click here to listen to the music
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
callmeCrazyButt
Ms. Smartie Pants
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For my fellow Michaganders
What It Means To Be Cold In Michigan
60 above
Missourians try to turn on the heat.
Michigan people plant gardens.
50 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Michigan people sunbathe.
40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Michigan people drive with the windows down.
32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Michigan people throw on a sweatshirt.
15 above
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Michigan people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
- 0 -
People in Miami cease to exist.
Michigan people lick the flagpole.
20 below
Canadians fly away to Mexico.
Michigan people get out their winter coats.
40 below
Milwaukee disintegrates.
Michigan's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Michigan's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival"
classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Michigan people rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michigan people get frustrated when they
can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life ceases to survive on dairy products.
Michigan cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Michigan people start saying...."Cold `nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
LOL
What It Means To Be Cold In Michigan
60 above
Missourians try to turn on the heat.
Michigan people plant gardens.
50 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Michigan people sunbathe.
40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Michigan people drive with the windows down.
32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Michigan people throw on a sweatshirt.
15 above
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Michigan people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
- 0 -
People in Miami cease to exist.
Michigan people lick the flagpole.
20 below
Canadians fly away to Mexico.
Michigan people get out their winter coats.
40 below
Milwaukee disintegrates.
Michigan's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Michigan's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival"
classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Michigan people rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michigan people get frustrated when they
can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life ceases to survive on dairy products.
Michigan cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Michigan people start saying...."Cold `nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
LOL
