Thanks Deb yeah lol not something I'd want to see the fall out from although he's a very gentle guy like most big guys wouldn't hurt a fly physically but he'd sure retaliate in some way. Only way I'd do that is if it got a lot worse and I was ready to leave, then I'd maybe try that first and hope but really think the marriage would be over then and its nowhere near there now. He is trying thinks he's doing really well only going every 2 to 3 weeks but its still too much and he just doesn't get it. :hug: ttyl
spoofee should have a message alert sound. dummies like me need all the help possible to realize that a message is waiting for them. so many times I just don't see them because I am looking around etc